Your 20s are a fantastic time in your life. You’re out in the world, exploring your independence, navigating relationships, finding your career, backpacking and couch-surfing, enjoying adventures. During these years you’ll learn that friends will pick you up or drag you down – here are the Top 10 Friend Tips for laying down terrific friend foundations.
In our early to mid-20s your brain is not fully developed, which affects your sense of judgment. That’s probably why you can’t get car insurance until you’re 26.
“Postponing… (major life) decisions makes sense biologically, says neuroscientist Jay Giedd at the National Institute of Mental Health. “It’s a good thing that the 20s are becoming a time for self-discovery.” Delayed Development: 20-Somethings Blame the Brain – Melinda Beck/HealthJournal.com (8-23-12)
Top 10 friend tips for 20 year olds:
1. A cool, crazy-making friend in your 20s will probably not be your friend in your 30s & 40s.
2. Romances have a must faster life cycle than friends, so keep your friend connections active through each romance.
3. Some friends are meant to be short-lived because they have a single purpose for your life, so learn what you need from the experience then let-go.
4. One size friend doesn’t fulfill all functions. The quicker you learn to compartmentalize friendships into – fun and/or cool; true blue; mentor; informational; clear-headed; the happier your life will be.
5. Start with you, and be clear about your own core values and deal breakers in a friendship. This will start your journey into successful friend-making.
6. Friend drama is an important part of friendship, not the drama but how you navigate through your mediation process. You don’t know if you have a really valued friend until you’ve been through this “character building exercise.”
7. Stay in regular (even once a year) contact with any really valuable friends you meet – even if you get a job out-of-state or get married and move on.
8. Face-time in friendships measures real friend value. Social media is wonderful and self-promotional but doesn’t offer the connective tissue that helps real friendships thrive. Face-time can include Skype and phoning friends too.
9. Being kind to a friend does not mean being a door mat; don’t support a friend’s weaknesses or ignore their problems. Be kind to your friend and yourself by finding a way to address these concerns. If you can’t, move on.
10. Find an older mentor friend, outside your family, who will provide one of the most important and pivotal friendships you will remember.
Friends will play a major role in your life, and these friend tips will pave the way. Many studies have found that the deeper connections you make with friends the more you’re likely you won’t get sick and if you do, heal faster.
“Study after study has found that social ties reduce our risk of disease by lowering blood pressure, heart rate, and cholesterol. There’s no doubt, says Dr. Klein, that friends are helping us live longer.” UCLA Study On Friendship Among Women – updated Jan 1 2014
Be friend-wise in your 20s and thrive in your 30s!
Friend tips image courtesy: By Till Krech from Berlin, Germany (cool glasses Uploaded by perumalism) [CC-BY-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons
© Glenda Shaw_Superfriendgroups.com 2014
Please note: I hide specific and identifiable details in my friend stories as these stories are examples of behavior and not meant to hurt anyone. These stories are based on my opinion and perspective, except when the people written about are in the public domain. Any advice in this blog is from my insights, research and opinion only, and must not be considered as legal or medical advice.