Smart, poor, artistic, cool - how to find better friends!
20 somethings listen up make great friends now & change your life. More »
Your 20s are a fantastic time in your life. You’re out in the world, exploring your independence, navigating relationships, finding your career, backpacking and couch-surfing, enjoying adventures. During these years you’ll learn that friends will pick you up or drag you down – here are the Top 10 Friend Tips for laying down terrific friend foundations.
In our early to mid-20s your brain is not fully developed, which affects your sense of judgment. That’s probably you can’t get car insurance until you’re 26.
“Postponing… (major life) decisions makes sense biologically, says neuroscientist Jay Giedd at the National Institute of Mental Health. “It’s a good thing that the 20s are becoming a time for self-discovery.” Delayed Development: 20-Somethings Blame the Brain – Melinda Beck/HealthJournal.com (Aug 23 2012)
Top 10 friend tips for 20 year olds:
1. A cool, crazy-making friend in your 20s will probably not be your friend in your 30s & 40s.
2. Romances have a must faster life cycle than friends, so keep your friend connections active through each romance.
This fun celebrity friendships quiz was inspired by a CNN website item – “Surprising Celebrity Friendships.” As I love promoting all different stuff about friends, I thought I’d test your star-studded knowledge (don’t peak). 50 Cent is friends with who… really? Which famous musician is the godmom to Angelina Jolie’s children? Some you may guess, others you know, and a few will leave you scratching your head. But before you sneak a peak, test your chops about surprising celebrity friendships!! (All the correct answers are at end of this post!)
Surprising Celebrity Friendships – QUIZ!
Following celebrities and their celebrity friendships is fun but it’s no substitute for creating your own close
Do you remember Mark Burnett’s “Eco Challenge”? A terrific show he produced before “Survivor.” During Eco Challenge they interviewed a guy on the winning team. Why them? Because, he said, we never blame one another or get angry if someone makes a mistake. Adjust, make changes and move on as “we’re all in the same canoe,” we’ve got to make it work! Great friends.
Recently I went to a terrific lecture on how to treat that boss you don’t like. The conversation extended to our families and friends. Why do we get so angry at those we work with, our family or friend circle? If there’s an issue you want to solve,
Why is it so important to get clear about your friend boundaries (although there can be some wiggle room and exceptions)? It’s part of your time management. Demanding friends take up your time and energy for their projects or needs. And that takes time away from your projects and goals. Demanding friends make us mad – whether get angry or you’re passive aggressive.
Setting your boundaries up front will make it easier to navigate friend moods, projects and requests. Honor your own time!
Do you set boundaries with demanding friends?
Here’s one of my boundaries for demanding or tardy friends: if you’re late without a phone call, then
Catching up with Idalis De Leon recently was a real treat. Idalis is a (fabulous) Hollywood actress, media talent and top media trainer, a friend and former colleague. We discussed true friendship, especially in high-powered burghs like Hollywood.
She’s crazy busy with training on air talent, and going on TV auditions. Recently, while watching my “guilty pleasure” show on TV, “Burn Notice” (which my husband calls “Bum Notice”), there was Idalis, kicking some ass!
I wanted to know the inside scoop about the show (I love “Downton Abbey” too – go figure), which we didn’t discuss so much as brainstorm about true friendship.
Since the show I’ve worked on Super Friend Groups, so we discussed what true friendship really is in the big city. While struggling in your career in that wonderful, crazy city, you attract like-minded folk. Some make it, others (the majority) don’t. But usually at one time, everyone struggles.
What happens when that struggle turns into neediness, self-obsession?
My friend Kev is going through a really tough time, and finds his friend advice unhelpful. He’s in his mid-40’s and had to move back in with his mom because he can’t find a job. Every day he looks for work, and twice a week he dons a suit, combs his hair and heads to networking meetings at 7 a.m. with other unemployed professionals. Kev’s got connections, and stamina, and goes to job fairs, and has sent out more than 2500 resumes.
He fears never getting a job again, and anxious about the youth-dominated job market. “The say I’m perfect
Ask yourself about close friends: why is it so hard to make these connections? Are you competitive or adventurous, loving or combative, supportive or a gossip. Since close friends are vital for your health, go deeper into your friendships rather than gathering more and more friend bodies. Take the quiz and find out how you’re connecting with your close friends.
Go to QUIZ – CLICK IMAGE!
Amazing and recent insights on the value of close friendships…
I’ve always loved working with friends. Once, however, during a creative project one of friendships went belly up, flip-flop… see you later. I learned the hard way, since developing the tools to make and build better friend connections.
Helping a friend, especially if you can’t fulfill your commitment, can feel like a threat to them, that they’re being shamed, rather than being helped.
The creative project was many years ago, when I managed a small theater company. A close friend wanted to venture into play writing – she was a published writer and lecturer - so I said, hell yesssss… go do it!
Problem was that when I read my friend’s play, hmmm… didn’t love it.
We all look for a loyal friend but are we loyal to our friends? Being a loyal friend is vital to a healthy friendship. While doing research I found a fabulous friendship site Lifeboat and discovered their Lifeboat’s friend survey on “What Do Friends Really Want in Friends?” Loyalty came out a whopping #1 in the survey at 81%. A loyal friend provides love, commitment and trustworthiness. Often being there for a friend is hard to maintain in this crazy, busy world; we’re all rushing around dealing with demanding families or bosses. Even in your busy life strive to be a loyal friend.
Go to QUIZ – CLICK IMAGE!
Studies show that women sharing loving experiences with friends produce the hugging drug –
I have a terrific, lovely friend, Gabby. She’s curious, wholesome, generous, loving. And, she had a really, really bizarre and funky relationship with a business gal pal. This gal pal was often mean to Gabby. To Gabby it felt like friend rejection, she was never good enough, this gal pal put her down, tells her what to do or not to do, then ignores her, ugh.
Now, I’m not your usual friend. I shoot from the hip with compassion – kind of like Judge Judy at a meditation retreat – when my friends have personal or professional issues. I don’t candy coat the issue. I’m not sentimental (although I sometimes go awwww at cat videos). I give measured, and thoughtful (my words) responses (my husband thinks I should’ve been a lawyer) to my friends. Bottom line, I love solving real friend problems, issues, puzzles, and know that this kind of friend rejection sucks.
However, Gabby’s particular friend issue was baffling to me. I was left scratching my head… until yesterday.