How friend networks are your net-worth!
Tips on how to find stronger business connections, January 7th More »
Be honest with me now: Do you feel bad when a friend asks your opinion and you’re too afraid to tell them the truth? You don’t want to hurt her/his feelings as they’ve worked hard on the project, event, or outfit. I wish I had some honest friends when I had my make-up done for a friend’s wedding by the guy who did Danielle Steel’s (or one of those popular writing dames) TV make up. I had so much goop on my face, and lines highlighting this brow and that beauty spot, I didn’t recognize myself in the mirror. During the reception I got a few surprised looks. After the wedding I laughed out loud when I saw the photos. What on earth was I thinking?
Honest Friends are the best policy… embrace the cliché.
Have you ever hidden the real deal from a friend and it’s come back to bite you in the butt? Yes, and yes. I had an incident many years ago when I worked at a newspaper and Jen was a budding writer. She desperately wanted to get a piece published, so I assured her an opportunity and gave her an assignment, without reading her prior work. When the article arrived it was terrible. But, I gritted my teeth and showed it to my boss, who tossed it on the floor just missing the garbage can. If I wanted to print this junk I had to re-write it. Which I did, to my friend’s horror. She accused me of setting her up for failure. I’d intercepted her dream, which was being a published writer.
When I was a teenager a friend in our Saturday night group confessed a secret, she had a brain tumor. Shocked and upset we all rallied around and supported her. She was going in for an operation, which always seemed to get postponed. Through all of this, she remained hopeful yet somber. The brain tumor was a lie that lead to many other friend lies that lasted months. No tumor no operation no recovery.
Before we knew the truth, we hugged and loved her until she finally did leave for her “big operation.” After a week or so she returned, no shaved head, no scar, and she looked healthy and almost perky. How did the operation go? We all asked, suspiciously. Fine, a success. She kept up this farce for a while until
Who do you invite to support your business or career project? Business friends are powerful allies, choose wisely and don’t confuse their value with one size fits all friends. I’ve confused their contribution in my friend network but quickly learned about a business friend who was just that, a solid business friend.
Attracting people who provide you with the power to launch your project, business, internships or mentorship is a great friend endeavor. If you want solid information and no one in your current friend group has that information reach out and create a specialty friend group. I call these folk power players. They may not be in your life for the long haul, but they can sure have a long-term impact.
Years ago, I was wondering why my colleague would only talk business – was he a friend or not? Often
Guest, Angelica Holiday, shares her ideas on Friend or Friendly?
While chatting to Sara (my very young 70 neighbor), I blurted out “friend or friendly.” Sara paused and repeated my statement, “friend or friendly.” Before she could answer the question, I did so for her. “She’s not your friend Sara, she’s taking advantage of you.” I was trying to explain the difference between who is a friend and who is friendly.
Our conversation began when Sara complained that her friend had reneged on a financial promise, leaving her in the lurch. I said “…that’s not a friend,” that was someone trying to be friendly for her own gain.” Sara planned to ask her for half the financial amount she felt this friend owed her. I said don’t let her screw you
My friend Brittany asked my opinion about an out-of-the-blue email she received from a former colleague and friend, Chris, who she hadn’t seen in more than 5 years. Chris was asking Brittany to give her $100. Would you give this friend money?
Chris’s story: She’s staying in a hotel, and about to go on a job interview. She’s one step away from being